Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Careers of the Future, Part 17: "Homeland Security Officer"

Now THIS is a great fucking idea: Granting 'degrees' in "homeland security."
The world has awaited the development of a new "major" for ineducable jocks and assorted other frat-house troglodytes waiting out maturity in college.
I mean, c'mon! Isn't that really what's been missing all along? This is the degree for Michael Vick. Hasn't it always struck you that what the country needs is the right credential for Blackwater's, or others', thugs, to lend the patine of scholarly legitimacy to their storm-trooper mentality: A 'degreed' corps of 'security professionals' trained in 'real-time crisis management'--including, one has no trouble imagining, extreme property protection and 'mob control,' and how to tell criminal 'looters' from desperate 'foragers' (hint: it's the hair)...
Yeah, if I were on the Faculty Senate someplace, I'd sure vote to start such a program at MY college/university/institution of higher learning...
With a minor in Transportation Safety Administration Inspection, it's life-time employment.

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