The Well-Armed Lamb: Homo Novens

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Homo Novens

From Boing-Boing:

Wooster Collective spotted this fun prank at Bristol Zoo where an informational placard about Homo Sapiens was installed outside the zoo's cafe. Click the image to read the sign.

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Woody's Droll Dichos & Homey Homilies

"Quiet desperation"? Not here; here, it's LOUD and RUDE.
A 'gentleman' should be known by the quality of his intoxicants and his generosity with them.
A 9-letter word meaning "Thinking 'Everyone's out to get me.'" 'Paranoiac? "No,"Observant."
Age inflicts the subtlest injuries.
Are "Tweet" and "Twitter" the cries of cultural canaries, to be heeded MORE if they are suddenly silent??
Atheism is a "religion" the same way "Off" is a TV channel.
Causation in human affairs is ALWAYS retrospective.
Celebrities are not known for what they know. They are known for being known.
Civility is the ball-gag with which the Elites muffle the cries of pain and outrage from those whom they are absent-mindedly ass-raping.
Class war only occurs when the workers fight back
Credit cards are nothing so much as renewable instruments of indenture.
Depressions are only really bad for 98-99% of folks. The rest do okay.
Do not automatically impute to 'stupidity' what can equally well be explained by 'malice.'
Do you have the sense that it's already been as good as it's gonna get?
Don't expect "credit" for doing the right thing, or for NOT doing the wrong one.
Don't expect to be treated nicely by people to whose faith you are a living rebuke.
Economics is the scientific application of high-level maths to the job of making the Rulers look good.
Empires seldom expire gladly, never gracefully.
Everybody's got 'baggage'. What matters is how and what you pack.
Free will (#1) is a handy myth by which the Owners can blame the Losers for their own fate and make the Losers accept the verdict.
Free will (#2) is a metaphorical trap by which the Oners/Owners persuade the powerless to blame themselves for their own oppression.
Freedom in any civilization is measured by the distance between the Church and the State.
Freedom isn't free; so quitcher bitchin', and pay your fucking taxes...
Grafitti is the art of "self-inscryption."
Great wealth is never "innocent."
Hope is emotional morphine. It doesn't dull pain, it eases anxiety about it.
Humanity: A cosmic experiment, testing if Life can survive intelligence. The Null Hypothesis appears safe.
I always scored "high" on drug tests...
I never lost a job; I knew where every damn one of 'em was the day they let me go...
I've not got much use for those who gotta have "God" to be good.
If men were conditioned from birth to autofellate, they'd never have to leave the house; there'd be world peace in a generation...
If religious people were susceptible to reason, they wouldn't BE religious people.
If you get better with age, I must SURELY be approaching "splendid" by now.
In a dog's eyes, there's no such thing as "size."
In principle, there are a gazillion explanations for "things" that DON'T require "god," or "divine will" and only one that does. I like the odds.
In the "real" world, nobody cares HOW you win, only THAT you do...
In the Corporate State, corporate media are State Media.
Is "freedom" an intellectual/emotional antidote--the speculative antivenin--to the snake-bite certainty of determinism?
It is often easier an more effective to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
It's hard to quit being an asshole, because it requires admitting you were an asshole to begin with.
It's your pain. Nobody gets to tell you what hurts, how much or what helps.
Law functions best to insulate the Rulers from the insolence of the unruly.
Life's too short to drink cheap Scotch,
Men who weep at tragedy are "compassionate"; a weeping woman is "weak."
No language is either "inferior" or "superior." None is "better" nor "worse." Each one uniquely conveys the conditions its speakers require it to describe.
No people, no country, which rewards "entrepreneurs" with profit from the misery of their neighbors and its citizens, --their illness, injury, imprisonment, disability or death--can be regarded as humane and deserves to be called "civilized." That's a nation of fucking, blood-sucking parasites....
No reliable CorpoRat sycophant, of which ever "party," ever left Congress broke.
Nobody gets religion like a slut gone "good."
Nobody's ever too old to be an orphan.
NOTHING of which humans are capable has NOT at some time been both a sin and a sacrament.
One may be honestly mistaken; but upon learning what is true, one must thereafter cease to be either 1) mistaken or 2) honest.
One may safely ignore those who loudly or proudly proclaims their own sanctity or enlightenment.
One thing "faith" makes possible: ENDLESS self-deception!
One thing about being a solipsist is, you're never really alone.
Optimism is the secular equivalent of "faith."
People who mock lawyers mostly have never been defendants.
Positive Thinking is an element in the "free will" scam, by which the Owners/Bosses convince you that it's YOUR OWN FAULT when you fail to successfully navigate the array of traps and snares THEY have set to keep you in your place.
Religion is how folks who need 'purpose' invent it.
Sex is just sex. All the rest is adjectives.
Speed kills. Weed chills.
Television: Electronic thorazine for an irritable polis.
That I am not surprised does not mean I am not outraged.
The Bosses don't have to control what you think as long as they control what you think about, and how you think about it."
The greatest privilege the privileged enjoy is the privilege of pretending they aren't privileged.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
The Rich make "choices": Porsche or Jag;the poor make "decisions": Food or rent.
There is no such thing as an "outside" joke.
There's nothing in the 'worst' of us that isn't in ALL of us.
Treat your 'faith' like your dick: Don't shove it in somebody's face unless they ask...
United, we bargain; divided, we beg.
Usurpers are endlessly inventive in "defense" of the stolen.
What Coprophagy is to nutrition, so exactly is Ayn Rand to intellect.
What we detest most in ourselves, infallibly we detect immediately in others.
What you see depends not on what you're looking at, but what you're looking for.
What's the loneliest waterway in the world? Bayou Selphe...
When in doubt, you're probably right.
When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. But if you have ANYTHING,m then you have EVERYTHING to lose.
Who can convince you to believe the impossible can induce you to do the unthinkable.
Without deadlines, I'd have had far fewer headlines.
You are NOT "What you eat." You are what you don't excrete.
You can't sell your soul and then pretend you still have one.
You do not "know" what you cannot "say."
You don't have be very smart to confuse the truly stupid.
You get what you'll settle for.

The Well-Armed Lamb

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Homo Novens

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