Caught In Bed With A Dead Girl Or A Live Boy

Those, former LA governor (and ex-con) Edwin Edwards once said, were the only conditions under which he would lose the support of his constituency.

Eliot Spitzer appears to have been caught in flagrante delecto in neither of these glaring faults. He's just the latest in the long list of powerful pols who cannot control their poles, no matter their effects on the polls. ("I mean, what's the point of being THE alpha male if I cannot fuck anything that moves, if I wanna?")?

I have visited prostitutes on only three occasions: once (the first time) in Dusseldorf's AltenStadt, the second with a woman who presented herself in a window in a rickety old building on an ancient lane in the Red Light District of Amsterdam. And once I mistakenly thought I had "picked up" a hot chick in a bar in Santa Fe, who went with me willingly enough but, when we had left the bar, demanded cash for further services. (I bridled; she gestured over her shoulder at a shadowy gent who seemed to have materialized from nowhere. She said they'd get lost for $50. I think I got away cheaply.)

So I cannot speak from much personal experience about the reasons why men pursue such liaisons. But when I was in the service, such talk was common-place among the married NCOs, and all seemed to avail themselves of such services when the circumstances permitted. It seemed to me at the time that they sought out prostitutes to give relief to urges their wives were either unable or unwilling to submit.

So, upon hearing first about Spitzer's peccadillos, my first thought was: "I wonder what it was that Momma wouldn't do?"

And by this I mean no affront or criticism of 'Momma.' People all have their limits, and living with anyone else for any time in any kind of a humane way means knowing and respecting those limits. Maybe--possibly?, even, given who they "are," probably--Momma had given Eliot leave to seek his surcease commercially.

But, permission or not, that still meant the exchange of cash, the old "pro" for the equally old "quim." And a need--still, because the residual idiocy of puritanism?--the need for secrecy. And that kinda pussy ain't cheap. (He couldn't take her out; it HAD to be for in-call service. Locally, the top of the local craig's list prices is about $350/hr. He paid $4,500. Okay, all night...but still, at most, given his schedule on official bidness, that's not much more than 4 hours...
And that's if he's the Viagra Stallion.

So, ya gotta ask what he was paying for...okay, you don't GOTTA ask. But you wanna ask (and you don't really wanna know) what he was paying for.

And that's where 'they' got him. He was moving money around. That's the irony.

Probably Spitzer's wife agreed (if she did) to the arrangement because going to prostitutes eliminated the possibility of there happening any encumbering 'relationship' troubles that might ensue if Eliot used the aphrodisiac (a la Harry, the K) of his "power" to lure willing (or compliant) accomplices. She must have known it would occur one way or the other. Perhaps she chose the lesser of two evils.

Expect to see this dramatized on the Law & Order franchise within weeks.